Do You Know Who You Are?

Throughout these past three years of emotional healing, I have been surprised, over and over, by how often I need to revisit things I had thought were settled and finally put to rest. Interestingly, the process has not involved reading the same books or practicing the same “techniques” again and again. There is some of that, as it’s pretty much built in. For instance, a central tenant of healing is telling your story as many times as you need to and in whatever way it gets created when you do.

There’s always more to learn, though, and I love taking it in. Why wouldn’t I? If you have a hobby or passion you invest your time in heavily, you might understand what I’m getting at. Why shouldn’t gaining self-knowledge be just as important as perfecting your golf game or mastering nature photography?

So, my bookshelves continue to get stuffed with books, and, in fact, I ordered more than half a dozen today, but healing seems to be as much about just living life and letting the experiences lead me where I need to go. Maybe an innocent comment from my husband (innocent in his mind, at least) sets off an inordinately strong emotion, and that leads me to work at figuring out what’s back there, stoking the fire. Perhaps I’m playing with my grandson, marveling over how much fun I can have with a jar full of quarters, and I think back to when my kids were little: we had lots of fun, relaxed times like these, but they weren’t enough; my kids needed more attention and understanding, so I become better attuned to just enjoying our times together now, easily letting go of judgment and worry and the need to teach something.

This morning, I picked up A Gift to Myself by Charles L. Whitfield, which I’d not opened before. It’s called, “a personal workbook and guide to the bestselling Healing the Child Within” (also by Whitfield and an excellent place to begin), and the author suggests that the reader work through A Gift to Myself slowly, over the course of three to five years. I love that, as few of us seem to do anything slowly enough these days. Whitfield also provides this important reminder:

Neither I nor any other person has the answers for you. I wrote this book to help anyone interested to find their own answers inside them. My sense is that we each have our own answers inside. You have your answers for you.

Funny enough, it’s a sentiment I’ve heard rather often when trying to share what I’ve learned. Yet those who try to enlighten me in this way generally have a hard time letting me just do my own thing. Be that as it may, the thought is echoed by Elaine Clayton in Making Marks, and I like her take on things:

What I’ve discovered is that the answers we seek are not hidden, nor are they residing in someone else who is wiser or more skilled than we are. We each have our own unlimited potential to listen inward and be guided by that mysterious wellspring of knowledge and understanding. We all have the creative forces of life and free will, which animate us and inform our choices.

So, yes, getting life right takes time and attention, and I hope that you’re interested enough in your own life to invest in it. Discovering your True Self is the most important thing you can do, not only for yourself, but for everyone in your life.