Longing to Be

I recently read an essay that laments the unrest in the world, concentrated, as usual, in the Middle East. Two specific statements (sentiments) shared by the author (editor of an art magazine) caught my attention, because each purports to be an answer to the question, How do we prevent such situations of war and even the hunger for war? As I see it, one of these statements is correct or, at least, on the right track. The other is simply wrong.

First: “Expand your worldview. For therein lies the joy and the hope for change. And the hope for peace on earth.”

When I read it again, though, I see that it’s a strange statement. “Expand your worldview”: yes. The wise man on the mountain is wise because his perspective on, his literal view of, the earth is broad. He has a vantage point that lets him take a wide view of the world we all inhabit. Perhaps more importantly, sitting there alone on the top of a mountain lifts him out of, and puts him above, most of the things that concern us who are living here in the midst of society. Being outside of ideologies, institutions, and the cages that we build for ourselves lets him see what we are blind to.

But what does “For therein lies the joy and the hope for change” really mean? I’ve written for publication before. I know that when a deadline is looming and a word count needs to be met, we don’t always think or write clearly. So, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt here, but far too often, especially with the most important things, we let too much shoddy or unclear thinking slip by.

On to the second statement: in describing a painting that depicts an embrace, the essayist claims that it captures the “essence and power” of “the feelings of love and loss,” thereby “reminding us how they’re intertwined, and how we belong to each other. How we all belong to each other.”

Sorry. No. It’s a nice sentiment for a political or beauty pageant speech, but it’s not true. We belong to God, who reveals Himself to each of us individually through our own selves. How can it be any other way? Everything we experience in the world comes to us through our bodies, our minds, and our souls, which some might prefer to call our “essence,” our “unconscious,” our “true selves,” our “subconscious.” (I’m sure there are more terms for this essential part of our being.) If we imagine—or assert—that we all belong to each other, then there are no limits on what another can demand of us. What’s more, overriding your own voice, your own self, to conform to what someone else has demanded of you, drowns the voice of God inside you. I like to imagine that each of us has a direct phone line from God, and our most important task in life is keeping that line clear so we can plainly hear what He is telling us.

Most of us fail at that because few of us stand a chance. It begins in childhood. You parents out there: what are you supposed to be doing with those children of yours? Are you called to make each child into a Mini Me who believes everything you believe, values what you do, repeats back all the sentences that come from your mouth? Or are you tasked with guiding each child in becoming who God created them to be? There’s a big difference between the two, and I regret not understanding that before my first child arrived. When I should have been letting him show me who he was born to be, I was teaching him to behave and conform. Then I followed suit with my five other kids. Doing so has damaged our relationships, but understanding the reality of that and supporting them in who they need to be now and in the future is far better than trying to delude myself into thinking I did nothing wrong.

It’s not just parents, but parents set the stage. Those kids who rebel as teens or adults? How many of them are listening and responding to God? How many have just replaced a parent’s voice with that of someone or something else? Remember, they were taught in childhood not to trust themselves.

We do NOT belong to each other, but insisting that we do will cause exactly what that editor is wringing her hands over, because when you betray yourself, you always end up betraying someone else.