Of Men and Misunderstanding

To Share or Not to Share

Two days ago, I began thinking in earnest about the balance between silence and expression. I am coming to understand how essential It is to express oneself and to be free to express oneself, but this very basic and crucial facet of being human gets lost because “freedom of expression” has become something of a political football.

Søren Kierkegaard wrote in an early journal:

One must learn to know oneself before anything else (gnothe seauton). Only when the person has inwardly understood himself, and then sees the course forward from the path he is to take, does his life acquire repose and meaning; only then is he free of that irksome, fateful traveling companion—that life’s worry which appears in the sphere of knowledge and bids true knowing begin with a non-knowing (Socrates), just as God created the world from nothing.

I am tempted to claim that it was easier to know oneself in slower times, when the world was less distracting and “instantaneous,” but I don’t think that’s true. We humans seem awfully adept at avoiding ourselves: we find work, school, sports, hobbies, passions, other people’s lives, drugs, alcohol, even religion more to our liking and always have. If we weren’t so afraid to be alone with ourselves, would solitary confinement be such a dreaded punishment?

Perhaps this is where I need to get a little more specific about what I mean by expression, which is: the act of consciously acknowledging what one thinks and has thought in the past. (I’m on the fence about switching out “think/thought” with “feel/felt,” but digging down into my reasons for doing so would be a long detour I’m not willing to take right now.) I’ll stick with “think/thought” and ask: what happens when one—for whatever reason—is unable to make oneself understood, even to oneself?

Kierkegaard, again:

The most sublime tragedy consists without doubt in being misunderstood. That is why the life of Christ, misunderstood as he was by the people, Pharisees, disciples, in short by everyone despite the fact that the ideas he would convey to them were the most sublime, is the greatest tragedy. That’s why Job’s life is tragic, he suffers surrounded by uncomprehending friends, a mocking wife.

The Danish philospher’s statements have merit, but I don’t know that I agree completely. Was Jesus being misunderstood tragic for Jesus or for those who refuse to believe? Jesus understood himself, and he knew that he would be misunderstood by others; in fact, he counted on it. He explains to his disciples that he speaks in parables so that only those willing to believe will understand him: “Therefore I speak to them in parables; because while seeing they do not see, and while hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand” (Mt. 13:13). Joseph Pieper writes in Faith Hope Love, “Not only is belief based upon the turning of the will toward the witness; it is that very turning of the will which makes belief.”

It turns out that I cannot compel someone to understand me, and if I had even one iota of the wisdom of Christ, it would not have taken me close to 54 years to figure that out. I once wrote in a blog post: “In the past, being misunderstood bothered me mightily. Ironically, I was the one with the comprehension problem.” Even then, I didn’t really get it, but now, I know that someone else’s opinions, thoughts, or reactions to me or what I share are really none of my business. Understanding myself, though: that’s a different story. It’s like what Andy Warhol said: “Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.”

What if I change his statement a bit? How about this? “Don’t think about thinking, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, do more thinking.”