Steps in the Right Direction

A wind is blowing outside my studio. I like the sound and love to see the occasional leaf slowly drift through the chill air to the ground. Stella and Henry often race around the yard at this time of year, faces up to the sun-warmed sky, arms outstretched, catching any leaves they can reel in, and celebrating each time one of them bests the other.

I have not yet ventured out my door, but soon will to see if anything has been placed in the mailbox. The sun looks inviting, and if I don’t bring my camera with me this time, I’ll get outside with it later, when the sun is not so high in the sky, casting short shadows.

I’ve found that not planning my days works best for me. No, it’s certainly not a revelation. I (and just about anyone who knows me) have been aware of this for a long time. What I mean is that I’ve begun taking the non-planning even further by giving myself no real guidelines, quotas, or goals, other than putting one foot in front of another each day to see where my steps take me. I’ve stopped worrying about how many images I create or don’t create (with words, camera, or paintbrush), check in with the online world as time and inclination allow, help the kids with lessons as needed, and read the books that have captured my attention, giving priority to two or three each day, so that when I finish one, I can replace it with another. Most liberating of all, I think, is that that I’ve stopped reviewing the books I read. When I realized, last week, that I was sweating over what I was reading because of what I would write in a review, it became clear that it was time to remove that stressor. It’s another victory in loosening the lifelong shackles of school.